Lord Immaculate's Manifesto

A friendly invasion warning from the Spanish government prompts concern:

Scientists fear the worst:

And federalists urge British voters to consider the prosperity and stability the European Union is famous for:

“Thank you for listening. Now it’s goodnight from her…”

“And it’s goodnight from me. Guten nacht!”

One of the most powerful weapons in any political debate is humour. Brexit has been blessed with the opportunity to roll out this supergun because the federalists have chosen to base their entire battleplan around Project Fear, and ridicule is the appropriate response to scaremongering.

It is amusing to see the EUphiles stamping their feet and demanding to be taken seriously as they predict eternal doom and gloom for the post-Brexit era. Why should we Leavers provide facts and figures to counter tainted propaganda which has about as much merit as a palm reading in Madame Humbug’s tent? Contempt is all the indulgence the Remainers deserve, and they are getting it in spades.

One must either snicker or cry when the useful idiots of the Little EUers’ internet army of soothsayers insist their visions ought to be believed and not laughed out of town. Who are these goons kidding? Themselves, I suspect. You lot are burying your heads in the sand, they declare pompously. No, just stifling our yawns. Project Fear has been repeatedly neutralised and only the weakest minds are being cowered.

We don’t know what life outside the Great Dream will look like, they tell us. We have a pretty good idea, actually – we managed without the European Union for centuries.

You’ve got no plan for the UK after Brussels! Well, we’ll muddle along as we did before. Britain has some experience in running a democracy.

We’re too small and insignificant to cope on our own, they wail. Yet over a hundred small and insignificant countries survive somehow.

Your anti-Project Fear jokes are childish, they complain. We giggle.

Of course the transition back to independence won’t be smooth. In or out of the EU this country’s economic fortunes are held to ransom by jittery City types. Somebody pops a balloon and shares crash until medics arrive to fan the poor darlings back to sensibility. The stock market has had many dark days since we joined the European superstate scheme, and will continue to have its episodes whether we make for the exit or allow ourselves to be swept up into the proposed United States of Europe. As always we’ll pick ourselves up, dust ourselves off and keep on carrying on.

They would have us see them as Noah warning the ignorant of impending catastrophe, but there is no argument the Stay camp can sail which cannot easily be dashed to bits on the hard rocks of reality, and no threat that cannot be met with fully-justified mockery. It’s an invincible tactic for which the scaremongers have no effective reply, and may even give us a shout of winning the referendum. So let’s keep poking fun at the prophets of the apocalypse and cross our fingers the undecided are as sick of the hyperbole as we are…