The Gospel

It’s at times like these, when an impoverished nation is told how much better off it is, that your Lordship would like to see the establishment of an official statistics office completely independent from government. This agency would publish its records and research without fear of number ten’s incumbents, of the Sir Humphreys, or of the rich and powerful. It would analyse and declare the meaning of its findings faithfully and objectively, without the least concern for the light their revelations will cast on any faction. Any attempt to interfere with the affairs of this office, for instance by politicians, civil servants and corporations – who would undoubtedly wish to influence the body’s publications – would be punishable with a minimum 12 months in prison for each culprit. Any politician or civil servant found guilty of leaning on the statisticians would be permanently banned from serving in government.

With this publicly-funded fact finder in operation we would no longer need to unravel the unedifying attempts of various parties to twist and paint figures for their own advantage, because the truth of such matters would be laid bare for all to see by an organisation beyond reproach. No longer would we have to stomach the television news people mindlessly repeating dishonest claims without appropriate cynicism.

The unvarnished data and the logical deductions related to it, liked or loathed, would be on the table for all to see.