Lord Immaculate's Manifesto

“Never a good thing for a commentator to be speechless,” says the BBC’s commentator. I beg to disagree.

Remember that World Cup/Euro tournament when there was a red button option for listening to the live football stream without any prattling? I liked that a lot; stuck in one’s memory.

When I’m PM, the first thing I’ll do, even before that other thing, is to make the blissfully commentator-free red button option a lawful requirement of all sports broadcasts. Imagine…no John Motson. No John Virgo. No Mark “Here Come The Four Horsemen” Lawrenson. You’re welcome.