Piss Up. Brewery.
by Lord Immaculate
Y’Lord can’t pass by the shambles that is the Better Together campaign without gloating over its sheer ineptitude. It takes something special to turn a certain No vote into a very possible Yes vote. Congratulations, all concerned. If not one politician, banker or businessman had spoken out against Scottish Independence the No vote would have been a shoo in. Every step of Better Together seemed destined to rub Scots up the wrong way. Getting the party leaders up there to remind Scots what they’ll be missing? Lunacy!
Even John bloody Prescott was on the campaign trail. It’s as if the Circus of Horrors arrived in town. No wonder so many Scots can’t wait to be shot of us. Is Darling a secret Yes man?
In fairness to us English and Welsh types, it’s worth pointing out that some of the grisliest chapters in recent UK political history involve Scotsmen. SNP talks of sparing Scotland from Tory governments elected by the English, fair enough, but with boot on other foot, had Scottish independence come earlier we wee southerners would not have had to suffer Tony Blair with his New Crusades and this age of paranoia, Gordon Brown (the worst Prime Minister since Eden), Alistair Darling…hell, the recession happened because of those three charlatans. We could have avoided that economic meltdown, and the austerity plot which has arrived in its wake. So it cuts both ways. If Scotland votes Yes, no Scot will ever again lead such a powerful nation.
Whatever the result of today, one of the campaigns is going to be left heartbroken. A defeated Yes camp would be bitter (more bitter than usual), at having to persevere with life as a UK citizen. Goodness knows what the heavies who have attached themselves so thuggishly to the independence efforts will do (assuming they are genuine patriotic dunderheads and not, in fact, MI5 agitators). Alex Salmond has given it such a good go, he would feel as if he had the Grail in his hands and saw it snatched away again. He might be a politician, and a smug one at that, but I will spare a thought for him if his extraordinary campaign falls at the last hurdle. If he wins though, I think his speeches may require a vomit bag or two.